The Ups and the Downs

We have had so many emotions since finding out that our darling girl has cancer, and she's also had lots of ups and downs this past week as well. We had a wonderful week enjoying the whole family at home and having a bit of a normal life. It's amazing to realize what a wonderful life you have when something like this happens to you. Normal life is good and we all take it for granted so much, this had truly made me count my blessings. Kade has had her good days and her bad days at home. There were moments when she was laughing and smiling all day long and even crawling around playing with her brother and sister. It's amazing to see her little personality come back to us more and more and has made us so happy. Then there are days like today where all she wants to do is be held by Mom and only Mom. Yes, I'm exhausted physically, mentally and emotionally but am trying to recharge and get ready for chemo tomorrow.

We went to the oncology clinic yesterday where we learned a little bit more about what to expect. It was hard to sit in the waiting room with other kids that were in the midst of their treatments and see how sick they were. Reality sure hit hard. It scared me and made me sad to realize a little more if what we're up against. But I also feel reassured once again by the oncologists and that they are hopeful for Kade's outcome. He said the odds are in our favor that  he hopes she will only have to go through this 6 month treatment and will come out on top. Just gotta gear up for a really tough 6 months.

We go in tomorrow for her first round. She will go into the operating room first and will get her port put in her chest which will stay in throughout these 6 months. They will give her chemo, blood transfusions, do blood draws ans any other medicine through this port which is great because then they don't have to do an IV every time. They're also going to do a spinal tap which will serve two purposes, to test for any cancer cells in the spinal fluid, and to test the pressure of the spinal fluid. She has a lot of fluid built up on her head next to the incision from them taking the brain drain out when we were discharged. They say it looks a lot worse than it is and since it is between the skull and the skin, it takes a lot longer for the body to absorb it, but they will test the pressure to see if a shunt is still needed. We are hoping its not. They will also be taking the stitches out of her incision, which is healing really nicely. Kade will also be getting a feeding tube put in and she'll have it the whole 6 months, even at home. She is so skinny to begin with they are worried about her nutrition. This actually makes me feel a little better because this girl does not eat and it makes her Momma worry.

We sent Jaxon and Maizyn to Arizona yesterday for 10 days to spend time with their cousins. I'm really sad to have them gone for so long, especially Jax because he's still pretty young. But we know they are in good hands and will be having the time of their lives. It will be good for them to have a little bit of consistency and normalcy, plus it gives us some peace knowing they will be with one family and be well taken care of while we're in the hospital for these next 5 days with Kade.

It's been such a whirlwind of emotions. It's hard to know what's gonna happen down the road but we are taking it one step at a time and are still in awe at the support and love people have showered us with. So many people have come out the woodwork unexpectedly and it has been really neat to see so many pulling for us. This first round of chemo is going to be the hardest and we're going to need a lot of extra prayers still. Thank you all!!